Ultimately, our ministry is a ministry of encouragement.

We want to encourage our brothers and sisters to make their marriages and lives as good as possible.

We have seen in both our own lives and the lives of our readers TRUE miracles.

We KNOW that God is available to us in ALL areas of our lives.

But…

There is a dangerous and counter-productive (yet popular) idea being propagated by some preachers. It is the idea that our lives (and marriages) SHOULD be perfect in every way. And, if they are not, we are doing something wrong.

There are two problems with this idea:

1) It is not Scriptural.

2) It only heaps additional burdens on our backs. Not only are we struggling…we are embarrassed and ashamed that we are struggling.

In the following video, Mark Driscoll plays a clip from a Joel Osteen sermon and comments on it.

I’m neither a particular fan of Mark Driscoll…nor a particular detractor of Joel Osteen. I see positives and negatives with both. But, I do believe that Mark Driscoll does a good job of dissecting Osteen’s assertion that, as Christians, we are to be constant “winners” with perfect relationships and lives…or something is wrong.

Driscoll’s main point is that if that is what our lives are supposed to look like, Jesus was a pretty bad example.

Jesus did not live the life of a “winner,” filled with health, wealth and perfect relationships.

He was a dirt poor carpenter whose family, friends and neighbors disrespected, hated and, ultimately, killed.

Does this mean that we are destined to live unfulfilling lives of desperation and poverty? No. Not necessarily. But, our ONLY guarantee is that we can rely on God to be with us as we deal with WHATEVER we are meant to face.

And, we can be confident that He will be there for us.

I will be the first to encourage you to NOT allow your struggles to overwhelm you.

Stand back up and fight the battles necessary to change those things in your life that are not currently ideal…knowing that God has your back.

But…

DON’T burden yourself with the UNSCRIPTURAL and UNNECESSARY weight of feeling guilty for your imperfect present state.

If struggle and imperfect circumstances were good enough for Jesus…

Last year, I posted the video (below) titled “How To Turn Your Wife Into A Sex Goddess In Three Easy Steps.”

Afterwards, I received a few angry emails from husbands that felt I was perpetuating the “myth” that “if only” they were more helpful around the house, their wives would be more “helpful” in bed. They swore that they were practically “house husbands” and their wives were still not interested in sex.

Well…

1) It was just an attempt at humor. We really don’t believe that every husband that helps around the house is (automatically) overwhelmed with too much sex.

2) There was a grain of truth. MANY women do tell us that they would be MUCH more available in bed, if they were less tired and stressed because their husband’s were helping them with some of the household chores.

But, I think that “turnabout is fairplay.” So, I have also included a video from the man’s perspective. It is a Folgers commercial from the 50’s. And, I feel that it accurately (not really) expresses the quickest and easiest way for a woman to spark romance and respect within her husband.

Please no emails on these…they are only intended to give you a chuckle.

The following video is Jeff Allen, a Christian Comedian, talking about how he swore that he would never be like his father and be “too old” to understand his teenagers.

Of course, then reality hits…

Have a great weekend.

In many ways, the last few weeks have been really great.

We introduced two new products, Tastefully Illustrated Sexual Positions For Christian Couples and Sexual Fun And Games For Christian Couples.

What was most fulfilling about these launches was the multitude of emails that we received from Christian couples that were excited about using the information in these resources to make their marriages more fun.

We really love to communicate with those of you that are dedicated to making the most of your God-given lives and marriages.

But, I had something happen last night that almost ruined my good mood.

I had an interaction with a fellow Christian that reminded me of why we are doing what we do.

This person was completely hung up on all of “the rules” that he thought we were breaking.

He was lecturing us on the need for us to be more conscious of how we are are leading other’s astray with our focus on married sexuality.

I was almost so upset that I wasn’t going to post today…until I settled down.

Well, you know what?

He’s wrong.

At the end of the day…

There is (almost) NOTHING more important than your relationship with your spouse.

We will all have to answer to God on judgment day.

But…my guess is we might be surprised at how little he cared about some of the (supposed) rules and how much he did care about those responsibilities (our marriage relationship) that he placed closest to us.

Did we take his gifts/talents and bury them because we know that God is a “hard master?”

Or, did we do our best to make the most of those gifts?

I suspect that God would prefer that we stand before him, having done EVERYTHING within our power to be good Spouses, Parents, Children, Friends and Neighbors…than he will care if we can show him the checklist of all of the things that we did (or didn’t) do.

Sex is not everything in a marriage (or a life).

But, it is a HUGE part of both.

If you have the need to work on the sexual part of your marriage so that you can better enjoy your life and marriage…do it.

If you need to begin to appreciate (in general) all of the trillions of other beautiful/amazing/mystical things that God has provided through the life/universe that you live in…learn how.

I suspect our loving Father is pleased when we demonstrate that we appreciate all that he has given us by gratefully appreciating and exploring it all.

Or…

You can bury it all…and hide from the returning owner of the vineyard.

Starting today. Starting this minute. Thank God for what you have. And, try to honor him by living your life in a way that shows your appreciation.

Below are the lyrics and the video for the Point of Grace song, “How You Live.”

Have a great weekend and forgive me if I was a little “hard” in this post. I’ll be in a better mood next week.

Wake up to the sunlight
With your windows open
Don’t hold in your anger or leave things unspoken
Wear your red dress
Use your good dishes
Make a big mess and make lots of wishes
Have what you want
But want what you have
And don’t spend your life lookin’ back

Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
You won’t regret it
Lookin’ back from where you have been
Cuz it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did
It’s how you live

So go to the ballgames
And go to the ballet
And go see your folks more than just on the holidays
Kiss all your children
Dance with your wife
Tell your husband you love him every night
Don’t run from the truth
‘Cause you can’t get away
Just face it and you’ll be okay

Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
You won’t regret it
Lookin’ back from where you have been
‘Cause it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did
It’s how you live

Oh wherever you are and wherever you’ve been
Now is the time to begin

So give to the needy
And pray for the grieving
E’en when you don’t think that you can
‘Cause all that you do is bound to come back to you
So think of your fellow man
Make peace with God and make peace with yourself
‘Cause in the end there’s nobody else

Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
‘Cause you won’t regret it
Lookin’ back from where you have been
‘Cause it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did
It’s how you live

‘Cause it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did
It’s how you live

Enjoy.

One of the predictable downsides of any “holiday

I’m a big fan of John Eldredge, author of the book, “Wild at heart.”

John is a proponent of living life passionately.

In our ministry, we see many Christians struggling with how to balance their “humanness” with their Christianity; they sometimes feel as if being a Christian means that they are supposed to go through life suppressing their passions.

John always makes a great case for the fact that God wants us to be more fully human…not less.

Below is a posting from his website, www.ransomedheart.com.

It deals with how we interpret the struggles in our lives (and marriages).

Do we interpret our lives and struggles as mundane, negative events to avoid?

Or, do we see them as epic (necessary and intended) battles with the world, Satan and ourselves?

I believe that we need to choose the latter interpretation.

We need to be more “wild at heart”…not less.

Below the post is a video by Bruce Carroll. He is performing a song inspired by Eldredge’s “Wild at heart” called “Big World.”

Enjoy and go into your weekend with God…and passion.

My friends,

It seems that the central difficulty we all face is how we interpret our lives.
Sometimes, our prayers are answered…but sometimes they aren’t. Why is that?

Sometimes, God seems so near…but sometimes, he seems to have abandoned us. Why is that?

The things that have happened to you in your life – why did that happen? And how come the things you so
desperately wanted to happen didn’t?

You see, whether we rise or fall, whether or not we keep faith or lose it, if we are going to live from the heart, we have got to see more clearly what’s happening to us. As Paul said, we must see “with the eyes of our heart