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By Robert Irwin, November 25, 2008 12:03 pm

One of the biggest struggles/frustrations for our readers is a lack of sexual desire…either by them or their spouse.

Lack of sexual desire is a VERY broad symptom that can be caused by a fairly large list of potential “root causes.”

These “root causes” can range from life stress to psychological issues to physical problems.

But, one of the biggest and most obvious causes of a lack of sex drive/desire is caused by the medications that many are prescribed for depression related issues.

It is a well known fact that MOST depression medications have a substantially negative impact on sex drive and sex desire.

This is the case with just about every “depression medication” BUT ONE…

In fact, there is solid evidence that this depression medication not only doesn’t HURT sexual desire/drive…it actually INCREASES it!

And, furthermore, this particular medication has been shown to help women struggling with low sex desire (and NOT depression); it MAY be the answer to chronic female low sex desire/drive. Whereas the drug companies are scrambling to find the female version of Viagra, thus far they have had little success.

But, this medication has shown some real promise in this area. In some cases, women experienced their first orgasm or their first multiple orgasm only after taking this medication.

Best of all, as medications go, this drug is considered “fairly mild” and has many other postitive side effects (helps with kicking nicotine and losing weight) and fewer negative side effects than most medications.

Of course (legal disclaimer!), we are not doctors. So, before you do/try anything, you should consult your physician. But, that said, if you (or your spouse) are on medications for depression, you might want to look into supplementing with or switching to this medication…Wellbutrin.

It is considered as effective as most other “depression medications” yet has proven, minimally, to have little NEGATIVE sexual side effects. And, in some studies, has actually been shown to INCREASE sexual drive/desire.

This was the even the case in test groups that did suffer from depression; they saw a huge increase in sex drive/desire.

And, it has shown promising results with women struggling with low sex desire/drive.

So, if you are currently taking depression meds and experiencing negative sexual side effects…or, if you are a female struggling with low sex drive/desire…consider talking to your doctor about Wellbutrin.

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By Robert Irwin, October 6, 2008 10:50 am

As you may know, my wife, Susan, and I have dedicated the
last decade to helping Christian married couples to improve
their marriages and sex lives.

What you may not know is that, before we started this
journey as accidental “sex experts,” we struggled with our
own sex life.

So, from the beginning, our approach to helping other
couples was very much infused with the empathy that comes
from having experienced the same problems and frustrations
as the people that you are attempting to help.

And, this is most true in the area of premature
ejaculation.

Early on in our marriage, in addition to other sexual
problems, I struggled with a problem with PE.

I have addressed the issue of PE in our other books…but
never in a comprehensive way. There was so much ground to
cover that I never felt that it made sense to focus more
specifically on PE.

But, over the past year, I have received so many letters
and emails from Christian couples that are struggling with
the devastating effects of PE on their marriages and sex
lives that I felt it was necessary to provide a resource
that will provide others with the same detailed,
step-by-step solution that I utilized to overcome my
problem with PE.

It is also the same approach that I recommend to the
couples which we personally coach.

The real message of this book is that there IS hope.
Whether you are a husband that struggles with PE, or
his wife…

If you are willing to learn and follow the simple
techniques in our new book, you CAN overcome premature
ejaculation and its negative effects in your marriage and
sex life.

As always, because we sincerely appreciate that you are a
loyal visitor, we are going to give you a chance to get a
copy of this new book at a discount!

If you have tried everything to overcome premature
ejaculation and are close to “throwing in the towel”
because of a struggle with PE in your marriage, please
check out our offer,before it expires, at:

LIMITED TIME OFFER-CLICK HERE

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By Robert Irwin, October 3, 2008 11:51 am

In Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband, we tell the story of how a wife chose to comfort her husband by being available, sexually.

He was struggling with career issues and was bordering on depression and anxiety.

Without asking, she increased the frequency in which she initiated sex because she knew that this was one way that she could (without a bunch of discussion) comfort her husband during a tough time.

Many times, the comfort is in NOT pushing the sexual issue…while your spouse works through a difficult time.

And, of course, sex is only one of the areas in a marriage in which we can provide comfort.

If you are not ACTIVELY attempting to avoid the news, lately, it is almost impossible to not get anxious about our future.

Bad economic news.

Hurricanes.

Potential wars.

And, I’m sure, many of you are dealing with REAL emergencies in your life…RIGHT NOW…not just abstract “potential” problems.

If you are, THIS is exactly when you need to turn to your marriage relationship for strength and comfort.

But, if you are dealing with relationship issues that make this “iffy,” start with the only reliable source for comfort…God.

God cares about your situation.

He cares about your marriage.

He WILL both comfort you and change things…

Just ask.

Below is a video to Brenton Brown’s song “Comfort Me.”

I hope you find it helpful.

Have a great weekend.

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By Robert Irwin, September 8, 2008 11:13 am

Apparently, friends, you and I are part of a vast conspiracy to overtake the world with our desire to enhance our marriages and sex lives…

Professor Dagmar Herzog (didn’t she make that movie about the guy that was eaten by Grizzly bears?) has just published a truly necessary and insightful (…ahem) book called “Sex In Crisis: The New Sexual Revolution And The Future Of American Politics.”

The fundamental theme of this book is that, just like in all mainstream culture, Christians are to blame for every problem in our culture. Particularly, our desire to enhance our marriages and sex lives by being more sex positive is really an attempt to oppress everyone else.

In a review in The National Post, the reviewer describes Herzog’s premises in this way…

As Dagmar Herzog reports in her just released book, Sex In Crisis: The New Sexual Revolution and the Future of American Politics, the goal of the emerging Christian sex industry is, in part, to sell what she calls “soulgasm” –incredible orgasms, a deep connection with your partner and “God’s spiritual presence.”

But Prof. Herzog says there is a weird paradox in all this: While evangelicals were loosening up in the bedroom, they were also becoming increasingly hostile to the sexual culture around them. Anti-gay and anti-abortion agendas have become the norm of the Republican Party, and objections to pre-marital sex, sex education (at least the kind that does not emphasize abstinence), contraception and even masturbation are also seeping into America’s already fragile sexual psyche.

“The religious right did the sex work for the Republican Party and actually helped the Republicans come to power in state legislatures, Congress and ultimately the White House,” she said from New York City.

Prof. Herzog, a professor of history at the City University of New York, grew up in a small town in North Carolina in the 1970s. Her two grandfathers and father were Protestant pastors and the town had “Christianity in the air.” But she does not remember anyone in this classic American Protestant milieu caring about anyone else’s sexual activities. Even the churches, she said, “let the congregants alone when it came to sexual issues.”

Why that live-and-let-live attitude changed, and how it became a major political force, is the thesis of her book.

I don’t want to say that Ms Herzog is “out there”…but, the New York Times (yeah…THAT New York Times), in their review of the book, felt that it was a flimsy enough premise to write…

At this point, you almost have to feel sorry for the Christian right. The movement’s most famous leaders are dead or fading from view. It’s stuck with a presidential candidate who barely goes to church. It’s losing gay marriage court cases left and right. Yet still, its ideological opponents are bent on discovering new corners of American life that conservative Christians have single-handedly destroyed.

Wow, to get the New York Times on our side, the book had to be truly stretching to prove it’s premises.

But, one paragraph in the Times’ review did jump out at me, particularly…

There is a “Christian right” as Herzog seems to intend it. These are the minority of evangelicals who attend church at least weekly. These are the people who do save themselves until marriage, who do believe disease and heartache follow naturally from premarital sex. They believe in patriarchy and female submission and an abundance of children. No doubt Herzog will be dismayed to learn that in national surveys, the wives in such marriages say they are happier and have more orgasms than the average American woman.

Honestly, I think that Herzog’s book and premises are too silly to spend any time refuting. But, I do find it interesting that even the New York Times had to admit that married Christian women report that they “are happier and have MORE orgasms than the average American woman.”

To me, this fact is the “diamond in the rough” of the whole “Christian sex and culture” debate.

Most non-Christians (especially those with the megaphone of a media delivery system) ASSUME that it is a given that ANY “traditional” (i.e. heterosexual, married, monogamous) approach to sexuality must be, by definition, boring and bad for you…despite the facts.

And, God forbid, you make any claims to the spiritual (soulgasm) nature of sex…or even broach the idea that sex in marriage might actually be BETTER than random, non-committed sex of ANY other type…then you are “oppressing” everyone else with your “values.”

In the meantime, you and I (and our spouses) can experience the reality of sex in Christian marriage that is elevated by the relationship and commitment and DOES offer truly “spiritual” benefits…and MORE and BETTER sex.

Just don’t tell anyone about it, you might be accused of destroying the culture (and probably the planet).

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By Robert Irwin, August 19, 2008 10:17 am

Worldnet Daily recently published an article entitled, “Christian Sex Better Than Kama Sutra.”

This article touches on several of our most “controversial” and consistent themes in our books (Christian Sex Secrets, Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband, Sexual Satisfaction For the Christian Wife)…that sex is positive…that sex improves your marriage…and that sex can improve your relationship with God.

You might not think these are such “controversial” ideas…unless you read our mail. Many (many) Christians are still under the impression that their sexuality and spirituality are two very separate things…and that there is very little value in improving the sex within a Christian marriage.

But, over the years, we have seen, literally, hundreds of marriages saved and improved by working on the sexual part of the relationship.

An excerpt for the article…

Contrary to popular notions of Christians as sexual prudes, 15 years of study have convinced a psychologist and professor that “knowing” your spouse “in the biblical sense” can be scientifically verified as a fulfilling and spiritual experience.

Dr. Chuck MacKnee, who teaches psychology at Trinity Western University, a school associated with the Evangelical Free Church near Vancouver, Canada, began studying sexuality in Christian couples in the 1990s at the University of British Columbia.

MacKnee told The Vancouver Sun that while many people assume biblical writers used the phrase “knowing” a person as a bashful way of saying “having sex,” he believes the writers and translators were tapping into the uniquely intimate sense of knowing God that can be found within married, Christian sexuality.

“In sexuality, we’re looking for connection and fulfillment in another person,” MacKnee was quoted as saying in Faith Today. “But this is really the same reason we search for God. … The Hebrew word for sexual intimacy means literally ‘to know’, as in ‘Adam knew Eve’. Yet David used the same word for God when he said in Psalm 139: ‘O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.’”

You can read the entire article here.

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By Robert Irwin,

Worldnet Daily recently published an article entitled, “Christian Sex Better Than Kama Sutra.”

This article touches on several of our most “controversial” and consistent themes in our books (Christian Sex Secrets, Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband, Sexual Satisfaction For the Christian Wife)…that sex is positive…that sex improves your marriage…and that sex can improve your relationship with God.

You might not think these are such “controversial” ideas…unless you read our mail. Many (many) Christians are still under the impression that their sexuality and spirituality are two very separate things…and that there is very little value in improving the sex within a Christian marriage.

But, over the years, we have seen, literally, hundreds of marriages saved and improved by working on the sexual part of the relationship.

An excerpt for the article…

Contrary to popular notions of Christians as sexual prudes, 15 years of study have convinced a psychologist and professor that “knowing” your spouse “in the biblical sense” can be scientifically verified as a fulfilling and spiritual experience.

Dr. Chuck MacKnee, who teaches psychology at Trinity Western University, a school associated with the Evangelical Free Church near Vancouver, Canada, began studying sexuality in Christian couples in the 1990s at the University of British Columbia.

MacKnee told The Vancouver Sun that while many people assume biblical writers used the phrase “knowing” a person as a bashful way of saying “having sex,” he believes the writers and translators were tapping into the uniquely intimate sense of knowing God that can be found within married, Christian sexuality.

“In sexuality, we’re looking for connection and fulfillment in another person,” MacKnee was quoted as saying in Faith Today. “But this is really the same reason we search for God. … The Hebrew word for sexual intimacy means literally ‘to know’, as in ‘Adam knew Eve’. Yet David used the same word for God when he said in Psalm 139: ‘O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.’”

You can read the entire article here.

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By Robert Irwin, August 12, 2008 9:54 am

As you may know, it was my study of the Song Of Solomon, over a decade ago, that started my wife and I on a journey of sexual exploration.

We were struggling with the sex in our Christian marriage and were looking for direction.

The Song Of Solomon changed how we looked at sex in our marriage.

Instead of assuming that our sexual and romantic desires were wrong…it gave us, by example, the hope and encouragement that God wanted us to enjoy each other sexually and romantically.

Consequently, “The Song Of Songs” is (and always will be) one of my favorite books of the Bible.

In the video below, Mark Gungor gives a very funny interpretation of how the woman in the Song of Solomon “seems” to be described.

Enjoy.

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By Robert Irwin, August 11, 2008 5:38 pm

Discover the joys of sex…as God intended for your marriage…

Are you frustrated that your sex life is not everything that you dreamed it would be?

Do you secretly wish for more passion, variety and frequency of the sex in your marriage?

Have you started to believe that it’s too late for you and your spouse to know what it is like to experience ‘real, exciting’ sex?

Do either of you struggle with low sex desire?

Has it been a long time since anything truly amazing happened in your bedroom?

If so, our latest resource, “Christian Sex Secrets,” may be the answer to your prayers…

Click Here For Details On Christian Sex Secrets

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By Robert Irwin, July 3, 2008 11:19 am

I wanted to give you a fourth of July weekend gift…a recommendation.

I just finished a book that I think you will find inspiring and valuable.

It is titled, “Just Do It,” by author Douglas Brown.

Douglas is a writer for The Denver Post.

After returning from a conference, he told his wife that he had learned that some of the men at the conference were part of “The 100 Day Club.” This “club” was a group of men that had NOT had sex for 100 days or more. The reasons for this lack of sex were different, but they were sharing the misery.

His wife thought that it might be a positive experiment to try the opposite tack…100 days of sex.

They did their experiment and the result was this book.

And this book is…really cool.

Although the book does detail (in some respect) their sex life, it is NOT graphic at all; it is, actually, fairly tame.

It is, ultimately, a love story. And, it is a real primer on the benefits of “real” married sex…not the “fake” kind of sex that you see in Hollywood movies or pornography.

At the end of their 100 day experiment, they were closer and more fulfilled.

If you have read either Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband or Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife, you know that we promote the idea that, sometimes, you have to “just do it.”

You don’t wait until all of the situations in your life (or marriage) are perfect.

You don’t wait until you both “feel like it.”

You just…DO IT.

And, once you are “doing it,” you experience the power of marital sex…and its ability to improve and heal your relationship.

You can find an excerpt from this book here.

And, you can watch an interview with the author and his wife in the video below.

Have a great “4th weekend.”

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By Robert Irwin, June 10, 2008 10:15 am

Our focus is sex within marriage.

Our books, Sexual Skills For The Christian Husband and Sexual Satisfaction For The Christian Wife are intended to help married Christian couples to make their marriages and sex life everything that God intended.

But, occasionally, we get questions from Christians that are single (unmarried, divorced or widowed). They are struggling with how to reconcile their sexuality and their “singleness.”

For those people, we now have a new resource to recommend: Lauren Winner’s “Real Sex:The Naked Truth About Chastity.”

This book deals with Christian sexual ethics, specifically Chastity in an intelligent and clear way.

It also confronts many of our culture’s current assumptions about sex and sexuality.

Single Christians should find this book to be a valuable and important addition to their library.

Below is an review of the book found on Laura’s web site. It will give you a taste of what you will find in the book.

A review of Lauren Winner’s Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity

When Lauren Winner wrote about her conversion from Orthodox Judaism to Christianity in her 2003 memoir, Girl Meets God, her frank recognition of the complexities of newfound faith were unpredictable and charming. As she takes up the question of sex and chastity in her new book Real Sex, her candor is not only resonant, it is uniquely insightful. In what seems likely to emerge as a critical resource for any Christian seeking to pursue a coherent sexual ethic in a hyper-sexualized culture, Winner effectively redefines the scope of Christian sexual ethics to incorporate realities-as-they-really-are within the church. She emphasizes the profound relevance of Scripture and tradition as a remedy, while articulating a winsome, yet bold challenge for the Church to be less modest about its call to chastity.

It’s no surprise to anyone who watches television or shops at a mall that traditional sexual morality is on the decline. According to current statistics, about 65 percent of teenagers have sex before they finish high school and approximately 75 percent of adults have sex before they get married. What may come as a surprise, however, is how steep the decline is—not only within the culture, but also within the Church. In the 1990’s three separate surveys of single Christians showed only one-third of unmarried Christians are virgins. Likewise, of the students and young adults who signed abstinence pledges as part of religious sex-ed programs, 61 percent of students broke their pledge and of the 39 percent who kept it, 55 percent admitted to having oral sex, which they didn’t consider to be sex.

For some, these statistics supply more-than-justifiable grounds to rant about the weakened moral fabric of American culture. But for Winner, these statistics simply identify a growing need within the Church that faith, scripture, discipline and community are sufficient to address; she offers hope in what could otherwise be deemed a hopeless situation.

Central to her evenhanded call is a strong reliance on the truth that our bodies are good (as are our desires when rightly ordered) and that Scripture offers a much more coherent and comprehensive sexual ethic than is typically communicated in classic virginity-centric models of ministry. As she puts it,

To organize one’s Christian sexual ethics around virginity is to turn sexual purity and sexual sin into a light switch you can flip—one day you’re sexually righteous, and the next day, after illicit loss of your virginity, you’re a sinner.

This is not to suggest that Winner thinks pre-marital virginity is unimportant. Rather she refuses to indulge the slippery slope, how-far-is-too-far question, pushing the reader to explore and consider the depth and richness of God’s full story of creation, wholeness and redemption. She rejects what German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer might call the “cheap grace